by Amanda Kooser
If the zombie apocalypse ever arrives, you'll be happy you dropped a ton of cash for a cabin designed to fortify you against attacks by the undead.
You hear the horrifying groans. Decaying hands scrabble at the door, trying to find a way in. They want to eat you. You sit down on the sofa, kick your feet up and open a can of Spam. No worries. You're inside a Zombie Fortification Cabin from Tiger Log Cabins. All you have to do now is wait in safety and comfort for the zombie apocalypse to blow over.
The ZFC-1 is a log cabin kit designed with the walking dead in mind. The structure consists of three connected buildings. It comes stocked with reinforced slit windows, walls and doors; a barbed-wire surround; an escape hatch on top; and a living room with Xbox, TV and sound system. It comes with an arsenal storage unit to secure your anti-zombie weaponry. There's also a toilet system, garage, kitchen area with microwave and an upper deck with a full view all around so you can keep an eye out for the oncoming horde. A garden section means you won't have to take over an abandoned prison to start a small produce farm.
The $113,000 (£69,995, about AU$129,000) price tag is for the kit only. It will cost you an additional $21,000 to add installation, $3,000 for security cameras and $5,600 for solar panels. Pricing is available on request for adding a water cannon, search lights or flame thrower to the package. There seems to be no option to add on a samurai sword, so you'll need to provide your own.
One of the cabin's more notable features is a 10-year anti-zombie guarantee. This may be the most brilliant guarantee ever offered on a structure. If for some reason the cabin doesn't hold up and a zombie (or 2 or 12) gets inside, chances are the cabin's owner won't survive to complain. "Please note -- we require medical evidence of the presence of a real zombie should you wish to claim under the 10 year anti zombie guarantee," Tiger writes.
Any fan of zombie fiction understands the importance of a defensible shelter. If Rick from "The Walking Dead" had one of these cabins, the whole comic book and TV series wouldn't even exist. Even without all the zombie fortifications, the ZFC-1 seems like it would be a pretty sweet luxury cabin. The zombie-proofing is a nice just-in-case bonus.
Tiger Log Cabins